Minding the Sickness

This post is just a musing on thoughts that I have. Kind of just trying to get it all out of my head to "clear my mind" so to speak.

I've realized I've been having some very dark and twisted thoughts lately. Some of them depress me, some of them excite me, but I'm coming to realize it's a sickness on my mind. The ones that depress me serve no purpose except to ruin my mood. The ones that excite me are twisted and aren't something one should think about. Regardless of the effects, they are something that requires attention and repair.

The only problem is.... I have no idea where to even start the process or how to go about it. My instinct is isolation. I know it's a horrible instinct from all my experiences, but since it feels like a sickness to me, I wish to isolate myself, fix the problem, and then return to a social setting. This way the sickness isn't apparent and doesn't affect anyone else. However, I've seen how helpful having a support system is and know that one of the best ways to work out things of the mind is to talk it out with others.

If I take that approach, however, I run the risk of ostracizing someone that is close and dear to me. On the contrary, I could choose to confide in someone that is distant from me, but not receive the type of intimate advice and support that I'd like. Dilemmas, dilemmas....