The Voice

So I'm upstairs in my house in this dream, hanging out with my parents and Tasha. We're all joking around when my dad gets deadly serious and asks if I've been seeing ghosts lately or if it's felt like anything has laid down with me at night. I'm super confused at this point, but tell him no. Tasha jokingly starts to drag me towards the stairs like she's a ghost taking me away and I mock scream and my dad grabs my hand and pulls me back. We all have a good laugh about it and everyone, but me starts to go downstairs. Before my dad is down the stairs, I yell, "Besides Dad, I'm way bigger than I used to be! I could take a ghost now!" As I flex my muscles and do my impression of a karate stance. I start to walk towards the stairs at this point, but as I pass my room, a straw man in a suit about half the size of a normal person walks out of my room. I kiyup and punch it in the face, complimenting myself as I do it, but then I realize that a straw man shouldn't be able to walk on his own and fear shoots through me. A female voice comes from my room, "Come help me Miles....."

I fall to the ground and slowly start crawling towards the stairs, trying to scream, but unable to. Instead, only a muffled gurgle comes from my through. I hear myself panting and continue to try to scream for help, only to be awakened by my own sounds of struggle in real life. Apparently I was trying to scream in real life as well and was instead making strained breathing/pained noises.

I'm just happy I wasn't in my room at the time.

Minding the Sickness

This post is just a musing on thoughts that I have. Kind of just trying to get it all out of my head to "clear my mind" so to speak.

I've realized I've been having some very dark and twisted thoughts lately. Some of them depress me, some of them excite me, but I'm coming to realize it's a sickness on my mind. The ones that depress me serve no purpose except to ruin my mood. The ones that excite me are twisted and aren't something one should think about. Regardless of the effects, they are something that requires attention and repair.

The only problem is.... I have no idea where to even start the process or how to go about it. My instinct is isolation. I know it's a horrible instinct from all my experiences, but since it feels like a sickness to me, I wish to isolate myself, fix the problem, and then return to a social setting. This way the sickness isn't apparent and doesn't affect anyone else. However, I've seen how helpful having a support system is and know that one of the best ways to work out things of the mind is to talk it out with others.

If I take that approach, however, I run the risk of ostracizing someone that is close and dear to me. On the contrary, I could choose to confide in someone that is distant from me, but not receive the type of intimate advice and support that I'd like. Dilemmas, dilemmas....